And the 1st night..

I have no reason to justify why i'm posting this after 10 long months but, i guess self satisfaction is more important. So, here is my 1st day of trial which followed after we reached Chennai. As i mentioned earlier that we reached Egmore station quiet late and we had to travel to our college i.e 1.5 hours journey by local train.

It's already 9 pm and we patiently waited for the next local. We both were tensed about where Q will be staying after reaching at about mid-night and none of us uttered a word on the topic. There was hardly any rush in the train and seats seemed perfectly in tune with number of passengers.It was already 11 pm when we reached our destination.

I never knew that the night would take me to a new turn of my life. Turn! and I start laughing at myself. Life won’t take any turns now; everything will be smooth, straight and consistent except few ups and downs. Sometimes I do wish to disrupt everything and peek into that period but, whenever I have tried to do so, agony has followed. Even than I wish to live that night forever.

Few autos were standing near the station but, she took the different direction. I have to maintain the distance and I just have to hear her word and not to listen them was my notion. Being cautious about the same didn’t deter me from walking with her. Silence in every direction and lamps were pouring light everywhere. Lamps illuminated the road and the reflection from the lake on the other side graced the path. “What a silent place is our campus I must say. In Mumbai life starts after 10 pm” she said. I nodded and thought she’ll start praising her city again; what a nice idea to make herself superior. But, that didn’t happen. Then she started telling about her likes, dislikes, ambitions and most importantly her transient and adulterous nature.

“I think that there’s a gypsy inside me, which takes me to different places. From past 7 years I’m wandering to different places, meeting dissimilar people and I’m unaware when it’s going to end”. As if she was fooling around me, black blanket. Why is she telling me all this? I tried to understand the meaning behind her lines. An inner urge to get into her shoes dwelt inside and challenged me.

“Do you know how much I have walked on these university roads? How many days of my life I have spent on them?” and in same tone and flavour she added “and with so many different people”. Her college stories of bonding and detaching with different guys in different semesters followed. She told about her miserableness after the break-ups and how she became stronger after each one of them.

I was actually shocked by her revelations. Is this the same 'Q' I was talking to, a while before? Is she the same 'Q' i madly fell in love with? I hardly managed to smile back.

She herself smiled and said “Sometimes, I think that we humans have stored so much inside. We never realize that we are moving on a designated path and die subsequently; without knowing ourselves and our inner desires. What a pity!” Without even having a glance, I sensed that she’s having a dispirited and resigned expression on her face.

I suddenly became stung and felt like saying that what a beautiful way of excusing yourself dear, “moving on designated paths” and “inner desires”. It’s actually being deprived from your values and ethics. Instead, I just replied to her “What have you gained finally after these series of link-ups and break-ups?”

After a brief pause she said “Don’t you believe that when we live with different type of people we behave accordingly? We get to know people better and react the way they want us to. In fact, we live different lives altogether which enriches our personality. Dating new people, being intimate with them and enticing them to come after us; gradually in the process, a whole new world opens up to us. And all of a sudden we realize that this is what was inside us.” I shocked while I listened to her, as if I was hearing all this for the first time. I've known the concept of infidelity but, hearing the same from a person was astonishing. She stared at me and her eyes pierced through my face compelling me to approve her opinion.